Caution: Do not read any further if you haven’t watched the latest episode of Game of Thrones, “Home.”
As if Jon Snow (Kit Harington) was ever going to stay dead, you guys. Apparently, this whole time, all we needed was for Melisandre to rub her hands all over Jon’s body and speak a bunch of gibberish before our beloved lord’s commander of the night’s watch would just perk right back up again.
After Davos begged her to work her black magic, Melisandre—who had returned to her usual youth after last week’s twist—cleaned all the blood off of Jon’s wounds, rubbed him all over, and said a few magic words. Of course, it didn’t kick in until everyone had left the room, but at least he took a breath there at the very end of tonight’s episode.
It was about time, too, because we had started to feel really low after a few key things we witnessed this evening.
Things started off incredibly promising with possibly our favorite thing we’ve ever seen on this show: Young Hodor!
His name was Willis, you guys! He could talk! And he was hanging out with Ned, Benjen, and Lyanna, and they were all just having a great time. We were just as annoyed as Bran was when the vision suddenly ended, though happy to finally have Bran back after all this time away.
Then, things went downhill all thanks to one Ramsay Bolton. If we didn’t already know he was the human equivalent of walking barefoot across a sea of Legos with bare feet while stabbing yourself repeatedly in the eyes with an ice pick while you’re also on fire, we do now.
Little Asshole Bolton first had to defend the loss of Sansa and Theon to his father, and pointed out that as long as Jon Snow is still alive, Roose will never have full control of the north. (Jon was still dead at the time, but they didn’t know it, obviously.)
Roose then received the news that his wife had just given birth to a son, and while he made sure to assure Ramsay that he is truly his first born, Ramsay was having none of it. He straight up stabbed his father to death right there, and he wasn’t even done.
He tracked down Lady Walder and her new baby, and FED THEM TO HIS HOUNDS. A NEW MOTHER AND HER BABY. TO THE HOUNDS. BABY. HOUNDS. You get it. We still haven’t gotten over it, and we probably won’t.
Ugh. Just so much ugh.
Roose and that poor woman and her baby were not even the only deaths tonight, thanks to the return of Euron Greyjoy. He and his brother, Balon, got into quite a fight on a rickety bridge, and Balon went tumbling over the side to his death…just after Theon had decided he was going to leave Sansa to go home to his family.
Meanwhile, Jaqen showed back up to help Arya not get beat up by a girl with a stick anymore, and Tyrion made friends with Dany’s dragons in an effort to have, you know, dragons on his side.
Brienne and Sansa continued to bond (which also makes us incredibly happy), and Tommen finally went to visit his mother, after forbidding her from attending Myrcella’s funeral because he was afraid of losing her again.
But really, tonight, all we care about is that this nightmare is over. Sure, we have no idea what state Jon will be in when he awakes, and we’ve seen enough other TV shows to know he probably won’t be doing well, but all that matters is that he is alive, and everything might just be OK…maybe.
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO.